Cleavage Doesn't Fix Your Face

nerdassbitch:

*throws shade* *misses*

(Source: summersloth, via pendents)

osamah:

kid: “how did you meet mom”

me: “thirst follow”

(via confirmance)

svveden:

*puts on lifejacket* i am ready for intercourse

(via retiredjesus)

2073:

money can’t buy happiness but it can buy a false sense of security and fruity alcoholic beverages to numb the pain and honestly what’s the difference

(via camerondallas)

kahl-ocelot:

everywhere is a bed if you try hard enough

(Source: shigure-hime, via pizza)

telapathetic:

why do 14 year olds “thank god for puberty” it has literally just started for you

(via confirmance)

sassadilla:

i have more selfies than friends

(via officialwhitegirls)

y2kid:

i will do a lot of things but admitting im cold to my mum who told me to bring a jacket isn’t one of them

(via pendents)